I spent two hours writing a blog post yesterday that disappeared in a momentary lack of keyboard grace. I’m chalking it up to “no accident”. If at first you don’t succeed…
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last checked in. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you- of the times we’ve shared and those yet to come. If you only knew how often you cross my mind – there is so much I need to tell you! I have no grand excuse, just the ordinary pressures of life that have clouded my best intentions.
Well no more! I’ve missed our time together and am sorry I’ve neglected you. Starting today, we’re back on track. I’ll be more frequent in communication and you, well, sweet wonderful you…you’ll still be here. Thank you for that.
I LUV September. I consider it my month. When I look at a new calendar, the first thing I do is flip to September, expecting it’s representative image to be the loveliest and most meaningful of all. And why shouldn’t it be? After all, this month I’ll celebrate thirty two years of wonderful existence, my nephew will play in his first soccer match and I’ll spend countless glorious hours creating one of a kind works of art. I think that deserves a pretty picture.
What time is it kids? It’s end of thirty!
Today is the end of thirty for me. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will turn thirty-one. I had high hopes for my thirtieth year, and I can’t say I was disappointed. Discombobulated, yes. Disappointed, nope.
The day I learned of my ex-husbands infidelity (Sept 10, 2009) was the day we had planned to celebrate my birthday. We had tickets for ourselves and three other couples to see Wicked, the musical. My vision of the evening included drinks and laughter after the show. My experience consisted of fighting back tears and explaining to unsuspecting friends that David didn’t feel like coming to the show because he’d had a rough day. A dear friend of mine came in his stead and held my hand during the show. I was anxious to get home after the curtain fell. I fretted about whether or not he would be there.
I went to work that day. I remember exactly what I wore. I must have looked terrible. I told my team leader I was having the worst day of my life and I didn’t want to talk about it, I’d fill him in when I knew what was happening. I left a little early to try to sleep (didn’t happen) and make myself presentable. I put on my favorite dress and full makeup (incentive not to cry). I was determined to keep moving. And I was in shock.
We took a photo after the show. It was so hard to smile. I remember thinking to myself, “this is how it’s going to be now”, and I was right to some extent. Though I’m single now, I’ve never felt alone. Every day since I have been surrounded by the love and support of friends and family. Just as much as that night marked the end of an era, a decade of relationship, it was the start of a new chapter in my story.
I gave serious consideration to celebrating thirty again in 2010. It started off so rough, at one point I felt entitled to a redo. But as the year progressed, I decided that won’t be necessary. I am ready to put it to rest. So good night, Thirty. Bring on Thirty-One.
A single significant moment can forever change the way we measure time. Birth, death, union, graduation, natural disaster. Or perhaps something less offiicial, not likely to make the evening news. A word spoken, a wrong turn or promise not kept. The shift occurs in the blink of an eye and redefines reality for an individual, a family, a community, a nation.
One year ago today, September 10, 2009, I experienced such a moment. While it’s hard to pinpoint the exact tick of the clock, I’m sure I could come close. I’d been blissfully blogging about the finer points of my better half, celebrating and enjoying our 7th year of marriage. Then, a pivotal moment arrived. He came home hours late, after the sun had risen. The second time I asked where he’d been he was truthful in his answer, “I was with someone”. The rush of emotion is crystallized in my psyche. My legs refused to support me under the weight of despair. My world tilted on it’s axis and a chain of events was set in motion that boggles my mind to this day.
My marriage ended. I haven’t blogged since. I’ve barely crafted in the last 12 months. Most self expression ceased.
In what now seems like a moment, a whole year has passed. I wasn’t sure where and how to pick up on my blog. I considered ditching the whole thing and starting over, and decided not to erase what was. Those days and thoughts and feelings were just as real and valid as today. I want to remember them, not pretend they never happened. They shaped and refined me and I honor them as part of my story. The truth has changed how I move forward, but doesn’t change the past.
And so today, I breathe deeper. I stare longer, hug tighter, cry easier and love more people than I did just a year ago. I’m excited to see what God has in store for me. Because a moment is just that. And a lot can happen in one year.
A couple weekends ago my friend Brandi came to town. She is a fellow papercraft fanatic and we were up ’til the wee hours of Sunday morning creating cards. Here are a couple examples from that design session.
We decided on a friendly challenge that evening. We agreed to each make a card inspired by this bag.
This is my result.
I like the mix of floral and geometric and wouldn’t have normally gravitated toward this type of combination. I appreciate that the resulting card is equally suitable for a man or woman. It’s not obvious in this picture, but there is a little red dot in the center of the geo pattern, I was able to work it in. 🙂
I am perplexed. Puzzled. Befuddled.
Today a friend and I went to a decent sushi shop for lunch. We had service that was less than impressive, but at the end of the meal, came a real shocker. I asked the waitress for a bowl of red bean ice cream and, after glancing around the restaurant, she replied, “We don’t have time.” The restaurant was not packed out, there was no one waiting for my seat. I was caught completely off guard and almost laughed out loud. My friend looked shocked.
“We’re out” or even “We don’t serve that anymore” are answers I would understand. How does one in the hospitality industry determine which menu selections warrant said time? Sushi, yes. Miso soup, yes. Ice cream, no. It’s like a Saturday Night Live skit. “The Choosey Waitress”.
If you wait tables for a living and can’t find the time to bring someone the item they ordered, you might want to re-think your vocation. Or loosen up your schedule. 🙂
A few months back I got a couple Martha Stewart butterfly punches. One didn’t punch right so I had to take it back and exchanged it for a dove shaped punch because they were out of the larger butterfly and of course I didn’t want to wait. And I have a thing for birds. SO – now I have a dove, a multi butterfly punch and a postage stamp shaped punch from good ol’ Martha. She has a really beautiful crafting line available at Michaels. The cards below were all made with said punches (but no dove examples yet).
This card was inspired by one of my favorite card making bloggers July 6 2009 post. Check her out! KWerner.
My sister in law Melissa gave me the fantastic sentiment stamp below (or let me borrow it for a very very long time…can’t remember!) . I love what it says and had the perfect little high heeled shoe embellishments to use with it! Products are from a mix of companies including SU!, Marvy and others- word stamp is by Dawn Houser for Inkadinkado.
I borrowed this SU! stamp set from my friend Stephanie. I had some ideas I wanted to try but don’t own the set. It is so convenient to have friends who stamp and are willing to share!
I think I will leave the insides of these cards blank for the time being because they could be used for a myriad of occasions. I also considered hanging a little sentiment from the knot of the red one- whatta ya think?