What time is it kids? It’s end of thirty!
Today is the end of thirty for me. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will turn thirty-one. I had high hopes for my thirtieth year, and I can’t say I was disappointed. Discombobulated, yes. Disappointed, nope.
The day I learned of my ex-husbands infidelity (Sept 10, 2009) was the day we had planned to celebrate my birthday. We had tickets for ourselves and three other couples to see Wicked, the musical. My vision of the evening included drinks and laughter after the show. My experience consisted of fighting back tears and explaining to unsuspecting friends that David didn’t feel like coming to the show because he’d had a rough day. A dear friend of mine came in his stead and held my hand during the show. I was anxious to get home after the curtain fell. I fretted about whether or not he would be there.
I went to work that day. I remember exactly what I wore. I must have looked terrible. I told my team leader I was having the worst day of my life and I didn’t want to talk about it, I’d fill him in when I knew what was happening. I left a little early to try to sleep (didn’t happen) and make myself presentable. I put on my favorite dress and full makeup (incentive not to cry). I was determined to keep moving. And I was in shock.
We took a photo after the show. It was so hard to smile. I remember thinking to myself, “this is how it’s going to be now”, and I was right to some extent. Though I’m single now, I’ve never felt alone. Every day since I have been surrounded by the love and support of friends and family. Just as much as that night marked the end of an era, a decade of relationship, it was the start of a new chapter in my story.
I gave serious consideration to celebrating thirty again in 2010. It started off so rough, at one point I felt entitled to a redo. But as the year progressed, I decided that won’t be necessary. I am ready to put it to rest. So good night, Thirty. Bring on Thirty-One.