Today is the end of thirty for me.  Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will turn thirty-one.  I had high hopes for my thirtieth year, and I can’t say I was disappointed.  Discombobulated, yes.  Disappointed, nope. 

The day I learned of my ex-husbands infidelity (Sept 10, 2009) was the day we had planned to celebrate my birthday. We had tickets for ourselves and three other couples to see Wicked, the musical.  My vision of the evening included drinks and laughter after the show.  My experience consisted of fighting back tears and explaining to unsuspecting friends that David didn’t feel like coming to the show because he’d had a rough day.  A dear friend of mine came in his stead and held my hand during the show.  I was anxious to get home after the curtain fell. I fretted about whether or not he would be there. 

I went to work that day. I remember exactly what I wore. I must have looked terrible. I told my team leader I was having the worst day of my life and I didn’t want to talk about it, I’d fill him in when I knew what was happening. I left a little early to try to sleep (didn’t happen) and make myself presentable.  I put on my favorite dress and full makeup (incentive not to cry).  I was determined to keep moving. And I was in shock.

We took a photo after the show.  It was so hard to smile. I remember thinking to myself, “this is how it’s going to be now”, and I was right to some extent. Though I’m single now, I’ve never felt alone. Every day since I have been surrounded by the love and support of friends and family. Just as much as that night marked the end of an era, a decade of relationship, it was the start of a new chapter in my story.

I gave serious consideration to celebrating thirty again in 2010. It started off so rough, at one point I felt entitled to a redo.  But as the year progressed, I decided that won’t be necessary.  I am ready to put it to rest.  So good night, Thirty.  Bring on Thirty-One.

One year ago today, September 10, 2009, I experienced such a moment. While it’s hard to pinpoint the exact tick of the clock, I’m sure I could come close.  I’d been blissfully blogging about the finer points of my better half, celebrating and enjoying our 7th year of marriage. Then, a pivotal moment arrived.  He came home hours late, after the sun had risen. The second time I asked where he’d been he was truthful in his answer, “I was with someone”.  The rush of emotion is crystallized in my psyche. My legs refused to support me under the weight of despair. My world tilted on it’s axis and a chain of events was set in motion that boggles my mind to this day.

My marriage ended. I haven’t blogged since. I’ve barely crafted in the last 12 months. Most self expression ceased.

In what now seems like a moment, a whole year has passed. I wasn’t sure where and how to pick up on my blog. I considered ditching the whole thing and starting over, and decided not to erase what was. Those days and thoughts and feelings were just as real and valid as today.  I want to remember them, not pretend they never happened. They shaped and refined me and I honor them as part of my story. The truth has changed how I move forward, but doesn’t change the past.

And so today, I breathe deeper. I stare longer, hug tighter, cry easier and love more people than I did just a year ago.  I’m excited to see what God has in store for me.  Because a moment is just that.  And a lot can happen in one year.

Since Allie had never been camping before and is preggers with their first baby, it was important that a few creature comforts be present.  We had large tents, air mattresses, bathrooms and a car close by. We stayed at Montgomery Bell State Park, which is about an hour from our place. We hit the trails and the swimming hole (though swimming is a term used loosely for the shallow roped off area).  We took naps in the hammocks and roasted a LOT of marshmallows. The conversation was easy, fun and friendly.  We had such a great time with Brad and Allie and are looking forward to many more good times to come!

 Here are the boys putting up the tents.

 Hanging hammocks.

The 4 of us before we left the campground.

I made this card when I got home Sunday evening. I was feeling Christmas.

 All supplies are SU! Layout was CASE’d from this post. It might still need a little something extra, but I am loving the mix of patterned papers.

Here is the list of things I am grateful to him for today:

*I am grateful that he lets me sleep in longer than him on Sundays. 

*I am grateful that he has an idea of what to do with all the things in our fridge!

*I am grateful that he enjoys grocery shopping.

*I am grateful that he cares about his appearance enough to sacrifice sleep to stay in shape.

* I am grateful that he really likes at least one of our cats. 

*I am grateful that he likes to try new things and is not afraid to fail.

*I am grateful that he appreciates my art, in it’s many manifestations. 

*I am grateful that he reads the same books I do. 

*I am grateful that he is patient with my spontaneous impulses.

*I am grateful that he doesn’t care much about what kind of car he drives.

*I am grateful he likes to work in the yard.

*I am grateful he keeps gas in the cars.

*I am grateful he cleans the litter box.

*I am grateful he smells good.

Both of these cards are made with SU! products, though the embellishments are from who knows where. I did faux stitching on the pinky card with the tool kit and a white gel pen.  Also used a gel pen to do the dots on the the “wonderful” card. Grateful, like me.  Wonderful, like my husband.

We decided on a friendly challenge that evening.  We agreed to each make a card inspired by this bag. 

This is my result.

I like the mix of floral and geometric and wouldn’t have normally gravitated toward this type of combination.  I appreciate that the resulting card is equally suitable for a man or woman. It’s not obvious in this picture, but there is a little red dot in the center of the geo pattern, I was able to work it in.

Today a friend and I went to a decent sushi shop for lunch.  We had service that was less than impressive, but at the end of the meal, came a real shocker.  I asked the waitress for a bowl of red bean ice cream and, after glancing around the restaurant, she replied, “We don’t have time.”  The restaurant was not packed out, there was no one waiting for my seat.  I was caught completely off guard and almost laughed out loud.  My friend looked shocked. 

“We’re out” or even “We don’t serve that anymore” are answers I would understand.  How does one in the hospitality industry determine which menu selections warrant said time? Sushi, yes. Miso soup, yes. Ice cream, no.  It’s like a Saturday Night Live skit. “The Choosey Waitress”.

If you wait tables for a living and can’t find the time to bring someone the item they ordered, you might want to re-think your vocation.  Or loosen up your schedule.

This card was inspired by one of my favorite card making bloggers July 6 2009 post.  Check her out! KWerner.

I think I will leave the insides of these cards blank for the time being because they could be used for a myriad of occasions.  I also considered hanging a little sentiment from the knot of the red one- whatta ya think?